On widows

{repost from 9/2021}

Let me tell you a bit about widows.

It’s a group of people I never gave much thought to. Maybe I never let myself. Whatever the reason not only am I one now but I see them in a whole new light.

As a widow, it’s easy to feel broken. Damaged. Like there is no place we fit.

But I have come to see that the brokenness is not who we are. But rather what we have endured. And because, not in spite, of it, there are qualities of a widow that are beautiful. Courageous. Unmatched.

Widows are authentic, grateful, brave, tenacious, self-aware, bold yet meek and unassuming, have an unrestrained zest for life, and carry a love for others than only deepens as the loss of their past world sinks deeper.

In the aftermath of death, a widow must pick herself up from the ground she longs to be swallowed whole in. She must rise, daily, to tend to herself and whatever else is left in the wake…the entirety of her life and her family falling square on her shoulders. And she must do this while having her entire foundation of support shattered. While having her shoulder to cry on buried in the earth. The bravery and heroism she chooses each day is stuff of legends.

She knows herself. She knows her limits and capabilities. She will be straight with you. No pretenses. She knows how to prioritize and say no. How to abundantly say yes.

She is appreciative. Any form of love shown to her will be embraced as treasured gift. She notices the little things, not to dwell but rather to spark her gratitude. She doesn’t have anyone to bring her a glass of water. When you bring her a glass of water, she might cry…in gratitude.

She knows how to live each day. With fierce abandon.

Her ability to love is magnified. (Ever wonder why so many widowed saints went on to give up everything and serve?) As death took her other half, her love did not die. Her love was buried, yes, but also rises and is now multiplied, given out without thought or care. When death takes her other half, nothing else matters except for love and serving those around her in love.

There are other things she is. But dear, widows, you are bad ass. And I am humbled to be a part of such an astonishing group of people.

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