Facing the world as it is

{repost from 1/2021}

Imaging you are facing the world as it is…and now imagine you are facing the world as it is while facing your past as it was: the loss of so much, most especially that of your spouse and dad to your babies.

And yet in this great and almost crushing weight of the past, present, and future I but peer into the heart of all that is happening in our world while also seeing the 30,000 ft view and all I see is HIM.

I see the God who allowed my husband to die and I see the God who is allowing the chastisements to come and I all know is His Goodness. I have tasted His bitter discipline in my own life and have already faced numerous evils and what I have come to know, above everything, is the Goodness of a Merciful Father who loves us so much that He wills our suffering if but only to draw us to great heights.

I have stood face-to-face with evil and, while once scared & afraid, God infused me with courage to know that if I but remain a vessel I can offer this evil to the Father and receive a hundred-fold blessing in eternity to come.

And I am afraid no more.

I see into a future that will no doubt bring even greater sufferings and I look to my past and I think: OK, I’ve already suffered the loss of health in Lyme disease (a gov’t experiment but I digress) and my husband suffered at the hands of big farm-a (chemo and meds and procedures that took his life) and we’ve lost a career and money and a baby in miscarriage and in adoption and through it all, namely the choice to remain attached to Jesus, my peace has only INCREASED.

And here is the key to that peace: abandon it all right now. Lose it all right now: the health, money, spouse, children, job…for if you lay it all at the feet of the Father before it is taken, you have already won. The only thing I shall not relinquish is my faith and that of my children. Everything else you can have it, for whatever is taken will be granted back to me, overflowing, in the life to come.

From when Michael was diagnosed, Job’s words became our anthem. “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” I beg mercy from the Father for what we are to endure and yet I willingly accept it all from His Loving Hands.

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