Facing Grief

A family resurrecting

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 3/2021} Praise be Jesus Christ when He allows you to enter in to His Passion. Praise be! Praise be when He kisses you with His nails and the scandal and the humiliations! Praise be in His holy silence. Praise be in the power that is all things contradictory to the world. When He chooses you…

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6 months later

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 3/2021} Hidden. Tucked away. Cultivating the little beauties of this side of eternity and enduring the pains that, ironically, bear so much fruit. This is where my heart and soul and body long to be. And this is where I have been. The pain of hitting 6 months and the realities of life sinking into…

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Laying prostrate

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 2/2021} So weary. So tired and overwhelmed. So sad. So heartbroken. God must be holding some (probably more than I think) of this weight because I feel it press down harder some days. I mean, life is tough the way it is but then add an extra ounce or pound of the sorrow and misery…

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The Veil

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 12/27/2020} I speak often of the veil – the veil between heaven and earth. When Michael died this veil was lifted in a way I’d never experienced. It first came as a great illumination of conscience. I saw my sins as they really are. Was Michael in purgatory, experiencing the same thing and that’s why…

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The piercing of the heart

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 12/1/2020} How do you put into limiting words, that which is the limitless experience of the sword piercing the heart? I’ve tried, trust me. I write pages and then stop before my sentence is even finished for I don’t know how to capture it all. And now I know why Mary pondered it all in…

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Life Under Our Roof

November 22, 2021 |

{repost from 10/22/2020} I don’t really know how to start an update other than to just jump in. No magical words, no sentiment could capture life under our roof but I’ll try. Mostly to stay connected. Losing a spouse is a lonely gig and, while my inner circle is amazing, it’s still quite often just me and…

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Joy breaking forth

June 26, 2021 |

One thing I’ve only recently come to accept is any sort of joy in life. Those things that make me laugh, smile, hope, rejoice. After Michael died I hated hearing about those things, because living in my sadness kept me closer to him. And rightly so. (Although the day after he died my best friend surprised me…

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On Always Getting Your Prayer Answered

June 26, 2021 |

Let me tell you a little secret to finding joy no matter what happens, to getting your prayers answered always. Before Michael was put on hospice we had walked through months of treatments, setbacks, loss, grief, and unanswered prayer after unanswered prayer. Every turn was a blow to our expectations, a blow to the longings and begging…

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Those Left Behind

June 26, 2021 |

Death can do many things to those left behind. If Michael’s death has done one thing it has severed our ties to this earth, for we simply want to be there with him, with God, not a moment delayed nor anything foolish yielded on our end to prevent our own entry into heaven. I am quite bewildered…

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